In the rare occasion of me attending a stand-up comedy night, I hear myself mumbling: “I hope we don’t get some female comedian giving it a go because we all know women aren’t thát funny.” Many people often agree or have said the same thing before I could. And if indeed a female comedian enters the stage, she is already ten points behind and doesn’t even have the chance to right my (or our) stereotype.
That same type of judgement unknowingly overtakes me when driving on the highway. I’m in the fast lane, and somebody is annoyingly hesitant or slow in front of me. I mumble: “Must be a woman driving.” To prove my point, I look to the side while driving past. If it’s indeed a woman, I think: See, I was right.
Most of us smirk because we know the stereotypes. We know the jokes. And they’re funny because they’re true. Right?
However, when I stand on stage for a presentation or driving a car myself, it sometimes hits me: Wait, maybe this isn’t that funny at all. At that moment, I realise that we’re judging on what we’ve been taught about gender, not on a person’s actual capabilities.
“I expected an older man”
Working as a journalist years ago, I interviewed the CEO of a prominent real estate company. Which was pretty nerve-wracking at the time. When I walked in the room, which was this majestic and impressive mansion type room, he — you already thought this CEO was a ‘he’, right? — looked at me and said: “When they said they were going to send a journalist, I thought it was going to be an older man.”
At that moment, I realised that based on stereotypes, as a woman, I was ten points behind. This resulted in me trying to make up for my so-called “wrong” — not being that older male journalist — during the interview. I was name dropping real estate terms I Googled shortly beforehand, laughing at his jokes, leaning in more to give him the feeling he was telling me the most compelling story ever, and obviously, I wasn’t too critical of his answers as I wanted him to like me, or at least appreciate me.
I know that when he said he expected an older man, he meant it as a joke. And I am not here to tell you gender-related jokes aren’t allowed anymore, or that I hate all of them — although there are better jokes out there, somewhere.
But we need to realise that these jokes and this behaviour are bias — a prejudice aimed at a particular group — aimed at gender. And we live by it so automatically, thinking it can do no harm, that it becomes part of our unconsciousness: the unconsciousness of men and the unconsciousness of women.
Hence, unconscious gender bias.
Stuck in our ways
Now, I am not saying that having biases is wrong. It’s quite natural. They’re embedded in all of us. Humans tend to make decisions based on the knowledge they already have, which we have gathered from many sources over the years. Your brain processes this and forms opinions, and makes decisions, creating shortcuts using that prior knowledge to make assumptions. So when you grow up with jokes that women can’t drive or you only encounter male journalists, this will be part of your system, and unconscious gender bias happens.
Unconscious gender bias disturbs our aim to achieve gender equality.
However, if we accept its existence, it will not only lead our jokes but our decisions as well. This is the point where we get stuck in our ways, overlooking a truth without even knowing it, not moving forward at all. And that’s quite difficult to change, while change is exactly what we need if we don’t want our unconscious gender bias to disturb our aim of achieving gender equality.
Hopefully, this is not something that still needs convincing. Multiple studies prove that (unconscious) gender bias is widespread. A simple online search query will provide you with a lot of information already (click here, here and here to get started). However, these facts don’t quite explain how unconscious gender bias works. Let’s try with an example.
Your unconscious bias speaking
There’s this riddle of a dad and his son getting into a car accident. The dad dies instantly; the son lives but needs to go through surgery. In the hospital, the surgeon refuses: “I can’t perform surgery because this is my son.” How is that possible?
We are letting our unconscious biases lead our views.
In the context of this article, the answer is probably evident. But when I presented this riddle to two female friends of mine a while ago, one studying medicine at the time, they needed about ten minutes of hard thinking, before they came up with the answer: it was a gay couple. The son has two dads. Not one, not even the friend studying medicine herself, considered the possibility of the surgeon being a woman.
Hire the right person for the job
When we associate certain professions with men — such as surgeons, journalists, presidents and CEO’s — even though we’re well aware of the fact that women are perfectly capable of doing the same thing, we’re letting our unconscious biases lead our views. These are jobs we know for men, not women. It’s a bias that’s even more persistent for leadership roles. Think about it. How many female leaders do you know?
Let’s change that.
Because even after many decades of trying to shift the dominance of masculinity in the workplace, numbers still show that the amount of women in leadership roles is low and women in professions that are dominantly considered ‘male’, are left at a disadvantage. And that’s such a waste. After all, gender equality comes with many benefits. Moreover, investors nowadays demand proper gender representation before they invest, with good reason:
- It’s been proven that when boards of directors have women on them, it increases profit;
- advancing women’s equality in the workspace reduces the risk of bankruptcy;
- and can add trillions of dollars to the GDP.
Quick solution: add more women, right?
Well, this is where our unconscious gender bias holds us back from making the right decisions — making ‘hiring the right person for the job’ quite difficult, as our biases mostly favour men over women. Especially if you’re looking for a specific profile for jobs we already associate with men. Mainly, because we also associate the accompanying professional qualities with men — such as outgoing, excellent networking skills, charisma, natural-born leader and inspiring. No wonder you’ll unconsciously end up hiring more men. Moreover, we still tend to address women with the soft skills they’re usually known for. Whether we like it or not, women are often seen as the ‘punctual, friendly, serving, caring, and part-time’ type of employees.
The inequality between women and men in the labour market is, therefore, amongst other things, sustained by outspoken views and social norms that influence men’s and women’s choices in terms of education, career and care.
However, not all women are the same. And you will likely encounter women that don’t match the stereotype as mentioned above. They fare better with those considered “masculine” professional qualities. How does our brain processes this? With an unconscious mismatch.
Heidi vs. Howard
Take the successful Silicon Valley venture capitalist Heidi Roizen for example. An actual lady who successfully built a business by using her outgoing personality and excellent networking skills. And to test whether or not these considered male-like skills influence how people view her, Heidi’s story became the subject of a case study presented to two groups of students (both mixed men and women) from Columbia Business School.
The groups received the same story on how the business was built and managed, with one minor difference between them: one group read about the actual ‘Heidi’ — the other half read about the fictional character ‘Howard’.
The students rated Heidi and Howard equally competent. However, they liked Howard and wanted to work for him. And Heidi? Not so much.
So, what happened? The more assertive a student found the female venture capitalist to be, the more they rejected her. They perceived her as more selfish than her male equivalent, whom they liked.
This case study aligns with existing research that has demonstrated that there’s a negative correlation between women and power and success. For men, on the other hand, this relationship is positive, meaning that successful men are perceived as more powerful and revered. It boils down to a mismatch between the qualities traditionally associated with leadership and qualities traditionally associated with women: making female leadership quite difficult.
No right way to go
On the one hand, we have this perception of traditional leadership that we appreciate in men, but not in women. And on the other, we have many women (and men for that matter) trying to lead in a different way that doesn’t necessarily match the traditional leadership norm. But that often leads to rejection as well.
Do you see what’s going on here? There is no right way to go.
Merely see the start of awareness as an incentive and beginning towards acknowledgement and possible change.
Now, I am not solely blaming men here. Both men and women suffer from unconscious gender bias. And with that in mind, you can imagine that we tend to make the same choices over and over again. Meaning organisations (even those changing their hiring process for more diversity) will continue to be homogenous at the top. So, if we want to improve gender equality in the work field, and yield the benefits of that, it’s essential to consciously identify and recognise our existing biases, individually and collectively.
Addressing our biases, however, involves human beings making personal choices about their lives, so this will never be an exact science. Merely see the start of awareness as an incentive and beginning towards acknowledgement and possible change.
Expect an older man, get someone better
Recognise and question your unconscious bias when striving towards gender equality in the work field. Even when this is a challenge that will take time. Luckily, traditional role model patterns in daily life are shifting — more and more companies are addressing gender bias. They use their newly found awareness to consciously approach women — when selecting board members and managers, and when doing progress reviews and salary negotiations.
Ultimately, it will provide us with female role models that will empower and benefit the next generation.
Seeing women excel in what they do best, made me change my unconscious gender bias.
I know it works for me. Because seeing women excel in what they do best, each in their own way, made me change my unconscious gender bias. No longer will a phrase like ‘I expected an older man’ get under my skin. Expect a man now? Well, someone better just showed up.
Eventually, I want the next generation to be part of a world where ‘driving like a woman’ is not considered dangerous and female comedians aren’t talked down. I want to live in a world where throwing, dealing or leading ‘like a woman’ isn’t considered a bad thing. And while we can expect women to push boundaries when it comes to gender bias and striving towards equality, men can and must be part of the conversation.
We’re in this together.
